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Things Men Need To Know About Women

Many years ago, Loveawake dating site asked female celebs to tell them things they think men need to know about women. The result was this article, from which I've chosen some of the more interesting entries.

Have a look and stay until the end, as there will be questions and an opportunity for your participation.

"When you break up with us, that means it's over, and we will only sleep with you two or three more times." - Jane Krakowski

"Women grab their crotches, too. We just have the decency to do it in private." - Padma Lakshmi

"When considering whether or not to ask out the girl you're afraid to talk to, keep this in mind: No matter who you are or what you look like, it's always flattering when you hit on us." - Poppy Montgomery

"Women are innately self-conscious. This is not a choice; it's a gender-wide condition. On a bad day, I look in the mirror and see my ten-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Bertha. On a really bad day, Bertha sees her two-hundred-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Brian Dennehy." - Alyssa Milano

"We pay closer attention to your hands than you think. It's bad enough if you don't have manly hands, but if your nails are longer than ours, forget it." - Courteney Cox

"The concept of premenstrual syndrome was invented by a woman in Iowa who was trying to come up with a way to call her husband shit-for-brains without repercussions. Now we all benefit." Leslie Mann

"Call us back right away. That 'three day' crap does not apply. We're getting older and we don't have time to screw around. Wait too long and we'll lose interest."
 - Christina Applegate

"Even when we're blindfolded, even when you're wearing sunglasses, even in the pitch black of night, we can always tell if you just ogled another woman."
 - Maria Bartiromo

"Unless we're blind or have no night-light in the bathroom, the whole toilet-seat thing is exaggerated and meant to control you." - Téa Leoni

"We're not complimented when you call your ex a slut. She dated you, too. So what are we?" - Jennifer Love Hewitt

"Often men confuse pensiveness with bitchiness, and I find that insulting!"
 - Parker Posey

"We are all about our necks. Feel free to spend as much time there as you wish."
 - Mariska Hargitay

"We're afraid of commitment, too. You may think we spend our time scheming ways to trap you into marriage, but many of us are quite happy being independent and autonomous." - Maria Bello

"Even if we've only been dating a few weeks, don't introduce us as your 'lady friend' -- or that's exactly what we'll become."
 - Emily Deschanel

"If you're funny, we will sleep with you."
 - Julia Louis-Dreyfus

"Men who wear sunglasses at night don't look cool, rich, or sexy. They look as if they should be holding a cane or following a dog." - Sanaa Lathan

"If we run into your ex-girlfriend in public, the first thing you should do is put your arm around us. And if we have to introduce ourselves, you are in big trouble." - Jenna Fischer

"We don't understand your fascination with boobs, but we're happy you have it." Andrea Savage

"We drink till you're cute, too." - Judy Greer

"Guys who go to Hooters to watch the game are usually the same guys who go to lunch at strip clubs for the free chicken-fried steak. Don't be one of those guys." - Christina Applegate

"The smell of sweat is sexy within reason. Nuzzling your neck when you come home from the gym: sexy.

Getting trapped in your armpit after you've played eighteen holes in 90-degree heat: not sexy." - Kyra Sedgwick


Okay, thoughts? Do you agree with these? Disagree? Which ones hit the nail on the head for you? Which ones are flat out wrong?

Now let's hear yours. What simple, basic (and succinct, like these) things do you think men need to know about women? Give me enough and I'll make a new list with your wisdom--we don't need no stinkin' celebrities.

Speak.

Thanks.

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